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Recent Movie Reviews

A true AVGN fan A true AVGN fan

Rated 4 / 5 stars

the captain aproves of this first flash

keep on trucking

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Recent Game Reviews

The Breach The Breach

Rated 3 / 5 stars

The captains verdict

For a start, people are spamming "DEAD SPACE DEAD SPACE" while it was somewhat dead spacey, my taste in horror goes past that, especially cult horror films. So instead of screaming dead space allow me to scream "EVENT HORIZON" from the plot, the jump element, to the design of the ship, right to the random, pointless, unsubtle "nod" to the imfamous video log from event horizon, this is effectivly a watered down event horizon. As a horror game, im afraid you fail to capture the subtly and horror of other good space horrors, such as system shock. the gore was, in comparrison to how far you could of pushed it, limited. the shocks and scares were cheap at best im afraid, at no point did i feel "fucked with". Although it gore-horror element picks up in the final stage (i am forever a fan of hanging corpses), as a whole you failed to make this game scary. a butterflies? granted as a green lantern fan i can appricate how yellow is an ass wipe of a colour, but butterflies? wasps my friend. wasps. and hell, their already yellow!
Game play time! shooting in one direction. that, my friend, is just plain lazy. granted the spreader some what rectifed this. it wasnt a very tank like game to controll, but it did feel sluggish. The enemies were a major killing point for me. the zombies were either poorly designed and not scary, or cheap and chip damaged you like a son of a bitch. however the greatest bent knee to the falling spine was the boss fights. they were all beat, including the big paralax monster, by standing in the corner and spamming fire. the RPG elements were decent enough, a bit tacted on, a bit more variation in character stats would be nice.
Sound effects were decent and the music eventually got pretty good, bar the noise the zombies made, i give approval on your use of sound, from the groaning and the spluting to the big fuck off security rifle DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA, i approve.
the plot? Event horizon. with bugs. and NOT ENOUGH RAPE.

THE CAPTAINS VERDICT. you hold potential. really you do. add more, balance and expand the game play, add 400% more rape and maybe the odd space raptor and you win

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